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  • Writer's pictureThe Well of Roswell

Breaking the Chains of Codependency

Let’s talk about codependency for a moment. It affects so many people and keeps many people locked into a cycle of fear and neediness. What it boils down to is it’s an unnecessary burden. It’s a burden to the person who is codependent and a burden on whomever is on the other side of the relationship. People who are codependent tend to hyper focus on a single person whether it is a romantic relationship or a different type such as a family member or friend. Codependency is defined as excessive emotional or psychological reliance on a partner, typically one who requires support on account of an illness or addiction.

Here are some common symptoms and behaviors that are common with codependency.

· Feeling responsible for solving others' problems.

· Offering advice even if it isn't asked for.

· Poor communication regarding feelings, wants, or needs.

· Difficulty adjusting to change.

· Expecting others to do as you say.

· Difficulty making decisions.

· Chronic anger.

· People-pleasing to be liked or loved.

· Overly clingy and demanding.

· Severe fear of abandonment.

· Unable to be alone.

· Unable to self soothe, looks to others or a specific person for comfort.

· Chronic victim mentality.

· Fear of rejection.

· Taking everything personally.

· Chronic sense of unhappiness, anxiety, and or depression.

· Inability to receive. Only capable of giving.

· In need of and seeks constant validation from others · No boundaries or such rigid boundaries you are incapable of compromise.

Codependency is not your fault. It could have begun as early as infancy. There are many situations that result in codependency. If you were neglected or abandoned as a baby/young child you would have developed ways and behaviors that would manipulate those around you into seeing to your needs If affection was transactional and you had to be, “good,” in order to receive affection you learn to be rigid, controlling, and unable to make decisions for fear of being wrong and having affection withdrawn. If you were made to be the parent in the relationship and had a lot of responsibility, put on you by your parents you will be overly responsible for others. If you lived an unpredictable and chaotic life you will be controlling and rigid with your relationships because you had no control. Also, experiencing physical, emotional, or sexual abuse having a controlling or overprotective parent or one that puts their own needs above that of the child also set you up for codependent tendencies.

Can codependency be healed? Absolutely! We first have to identify where it began and what wounds need to get our attention. From there, you connect with those damaged pieces and work on building your self-esteem. It does take work and focus, but it is so worth it. Freeing yourself from the prison of codependency means you don’t need people in your life, you want them and are ok when you have time alone. Healing codependency means you can have healthy boundaries and don’t need others to validate your existence.

Join us for a 5 week codependency workshop and free yourself from codependency for good.

Glenda Emory The Divine Path LLC

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